August has been a thought-provoking month…to say the least. There have been many challenges, opportunities, highs, lows, joys, and sorrows and yet here I am…yep, here I am.
What does that mean?
The truth about “yep, here I am” is deeper than those four words. The fact is that life, the universe, God, a higher power – however you see it, has brought me through this month in a way I have not experienced in a while. You see I have been hiding from many, things but this month I came out of hiding. I am taking things head on and making traction.
I’ve been hiding from the fact that even though I coach and mentor those raising young adults as well as the young adult themselves, am the “expert” in this; I too can feel like I have failed. Like somehow my kid’s lives would be so much better “if only I had…”. The truth is no matter what kind of job we did or are doing for our children there is that little voice in the recesses of our brains that says “if only I had…”
How many of you in this village called parenting have felt or feel that way? You’re not alone!
Here’s the reality: our influence is profoundly deep but it is just that…influence! Once our children become of age, the rest is up to them. Again in parenting – the village is so important. When we have a community of support, guidance and mentoring, particularly in the young adult stage of growth, we tend to suffer less from the “if only I had…” trap.
So, this month of August (the month of my actual birth) I have been reborn as a parent. My kids are adults, one with children of her own. My job now (and has been for several years) is to trust in the influence I provided them and the foundation that was laid, pray they make choices in their lives that will bless them and those they influence and that when challenges come to them, they will be able to rise.
May all who read this find comfort and know you are not alone!
Side note for you…if we are going to take all the credit for the less than stellar things our kids do we must take all the decent, kind, honorable things they do as well. Reminder…We are no more responsible for our children’s failures than we are their successes. What we are responsible for is the influence we have on them as they grow and laying a solid foundation.